Step 2: Simplicity and the Art of Living Well

Life has a way of teaching us lessons. Usually this occurs in the school of hard knocks, kick you when you're down style we've all come to know and love. Every once in a while our lesson shows up in the form of something wonderful though. That's what happened to me the other day. A friend and I decided on the spur of the moment to have lunch at our favorite restaurant, Craft, for no special reason at all--which is really the very best reason to treat yourself! One of the things we love most about Craft is the simplicity and quality of the food. Great ingredients do not need to be drowned in sauces, spices or dressings to shine. While enjoying our luscious diver scallops, Cobb salad and hen of the woods mushrooms, we talked about how much we preferred this type of food to virtually anything else around. Craft is not an everyday kind of restaurant (unless you are a lottery winner or Hollywood mogul--either of which I am quite willing to become, btw). It is pricey. We both agreed that we'd rather brown bag it most days instead of eating out at inexpensive and mediocre places and put the money saved toward the occasional Craft splurge. Quality over quantity is something you hear all the time, but I don't think it is a concept most Americans embrace. In America, more and bigger is always better. I've been guilty of this myself. In college I wanted to drink as much as possible so Black Label beer was great. Now that I've developed a more sophisticated palate (and have less tolerance for hangovers) I would really rather enjoy a couple of Fat Tires. I'd rather have one perfect artisanal truffle than an entire bar of cheap chocolate. Sometimes less really is more!

As I've been removing clutter from my home, I am convinced this concept applies there too. Clearly it is necessary to be ruthless whenever you make a purchase so that you end up with quality items you truly love and use rather than closets full of crap you wish you had never bought. We live in a disposable culture where most things seem poorly constructed, meant to be replaced rather than repaired. I think this is a shame considering our landfills are already overburdened. When I started shopping for furniture last year, many people thought I was crazy to spend as much as I did. I wanted something that would last though. I wanted furniture made from actual wood, not particle board. I will have this furniture for years to come and I am really glad that I took the extra time and money to find the quality pieces I wanted. Similarly, I've always heard that French women have fewer, but higher quality clothes. Realizing that I wear only about 10% of the clothes I own on a regular basis, I see that this concept can work. If you are wearing the same clothes over and over (and you know you are) consider why this is. Probably because these pieces are the most comfortable and look the best on you. So why not buy just a few really great pieces instead of several so-so items? Remember also that the cheapest thing is not always the best value. If it isn't made to last, odds are you will spend more replacing it than you would have on a higher quality product in the first place.

The lesson for me is that by concentrating on quality in our lives (that goes for quality people too, btw!) we can live well without necessarily spending a lot more over time. Quality food choices will make us healthier over all. Quality purchases will make our homes attractive and comfortable without adding to our clutter or our landfills. Quality people will make our lives richer without added chaos.

Feng Shui Update

I continued to de-clutter over the 4th of July weekend and things are going very well. The work was a little slower as I got into more detailed work such as weeding files. I plan to tackle the two hall closets tomorrow in preparation for a yard sale next weekend. Whatever doesn't sell will be taken immediately to Goodwill. My roommate will be moving at the end of the month so I'll be working on fixing up the new "guest room" once his stuff is out. I have admit that even though I still have a long way to go, I do feel a certain lightness and easiness now that my room is less cluttered. Maybe the energy really is flowing better, or maybe the decrease in chaos just has a calming effect. Either way, I believe this is going to make a difference in my life. I got rid of several more "blue widgets" this weekend and, in doing so, realized I had held on to many of them far too long. The emotional attachments that once made me keep these items just weren't there any more. I experienced the actual feeling that these items had become burdens to me--filling up space and weighing me down. What a relief to finally let them go! Do you have things in your home that are not useful or beautiful? Things you just don't love or need? Think about how these items are taking up space and requiring cleaning or other upkeep. Is the energy wasted keeping them around really worth it? What would happen if you decided to let go?

Billboard Wisdom

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."
-- Henry David Thoreau

I saw a billboard for Bacardi today which read “Live Like You Mean It.” This really struck a chord with me and not just because I enjoy a good Mojito. I started this blog specifically because I want to start living deliberately, to work actively toward creating a life. With the exception of a few major decisions, I am guilty of just allowing life to happen to me rather than being an active participant. I can’t say I’m happy with the results. I realize there are many things beyond our control, but so much of where we end up depends upon the choices we make. Living without intention has led me to a place in life I don’t really want to be with no real idea of how I even got here. It’s like that feeling you get when you’re young and drinking all night with your friends seems like a good idea. You wake up the next day and think to yourself, “How the hell did I get here?” Sure you had a good time (you think), but you feel like hell and you seem to have spent all your money. You may even be in the wrong house. I feel just like that only on a larger scale. I woke up and realized I was in the wrong life! So I've decide I will live deliberately, with intention, “like I mean it.” Because when my time comes, I want to look back and KNOW that I really lived.

STEP 1: CREATE A NURTURNING ENVIRONMENT. In other words, get up off your ass and clean house!

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”

--William Morris

I’ve decided to begin my quest for a life by cleaning, organizing and decorating my apartment so I can enter without tripping over anything, relax when I’m there and even actually invite people over from time to time without feeling embarrassed. I’ve been looking into the practice of Feng Shui and it seems I’ve violated pretty much all of the principles. Perhaps this explains my life. Even though I have no intention of hanging wind chimes in my apartment for any reason, having a clean, organized home makes practical sense to me. Chaos in my surroundings is anxiety provoking. I am an admitted germaphobe, but I am not a neat freak. A certain amount of clutter is fine with me. At some point, however, my apartment has crossed over into the chaos zone. Since I’m rarely home—work, school, internship, volunteering, rare social engagements—I’m surprised by how insanely disorganized my apt. has become. On the other hand, since I'm so busy, when I am home I barely have time to do laundry and clean the bathrooms, let alone anything else. Plus, when given the choice between cleaning and sitting on my ass, I'm likely to choose sitting on my ass. Wouldn't you?

I began clearing out the clutter last weekend and am hoping to make even more progress this weekend. Once my roommate moves out, I’ll have extra storage space as well so by the first week of August, my apt. should be thoroughly clean and organized. As you can see from this "before" picture, I've mostly been using my bedroom as a storage unit. A rather poorly maintained and disorganized storage unit.

I have a tendency to keep things just because they were a gift, or I think perhaps someday I will have a use for them. The emotional connection to objects is one of the biggest road blocks to getting rid of clutter. If Aunt Tootie gives me a blue widget, I will feel guilty getting rid of it even if I hate blue widgets and have no use for them. I realize now that if I don’t really love or use the item, then it really is just part of the chaos. If I give it to Goodwill there is a chance someone who really needs or wants it will find it there. This idea has freed me from feeling guilty about letting go of many blue widgets. And I think Aunt Tootie would really rather the widget were put to good use by someone else rather than collecting dust in a corner of my apt.

I also have quite a bit of sentimental stuff from my EX that I’m not yet ready to part with. I packed the majority of it into a storage bin after our break-up. This time around I was a little more ruthless and I was able to actually throw out a few things I knew I would never need and that wouldn’t be useful as Goodwill donations. I had a few pangs, but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do. I’m sure as time goes by, I’ll be able to get rid of most of the stuff in the bin. I may not be entirely over the relationship yet, but I am aware that it is impossible to embrace the future if you continue to cling to the past. It is time to move on.

After a weekend spent sorting and organizing, I took the photo below. Not yet perfect, but a great improvement. Phase two happens this weekend and I will report back on the results. Wish me luck!

Penelope

Getting a Life!

Well it has finally come to this. My life has become such a mess that I’ve finally decided to do something about it. Oh sure I’ve said it before. Usually around January 1st; usually in an alcoholic haze. I, like everyone else , have made the same promises year after year: lose weight, pay off debt, organize home, save money, read Proust, get to work on time, find better job, quit smoking (I don’t actually smoke, but since this is a perennial favorite of so many of you, I include it here). You get the picture--we all want to be better people, but actually doing it? That’s hard. Who has the time? Who has the energy? Well desperate times call for desperate measures and right now I am nothing if not desperate. I always envisioned the kind of life I would lead, the job I would have when I finally decided what I wanted to be when I grew up, the charming and wonderful Mr. Right, the lovely home…and yet here I am a few months past a birthday ending with a zero and it seems I really haven’t made any progress in any of these areas. Overweight? Check. In debt? Check. Hating job? Check. Spinster? Check. Apartment in chaos? Check.
So, I’ve decided to embark upon a journey of change, because in the back of my mind, I always thought that if I ever really gave it a shot, I could actually be better. I just always thought eventually, when I grew up (like that’s ever going to happen), I’d not only figure out what I want to do with my life, but I’d finally get my shit together too. So I’ve decided I either need to actually do something to create a life I can live with (dare I say, actually be happy with?) or I need to just accept what is and stop bitching and moaning. Since I rather enjoy bitching and moaning and would really rather have a proper life, I’m going to try getting one. You, Dear Readers, are invited to join me on this quest. You can help me out by keeping me honest and I can help you out by inspiring you to get a life too. If I can do it, anyone can. Of course if I can’t, well, you’re probably screwed too.