Thursday, October 6, 2011

What Price Hapiness?

Well, it's been a while since you've heard from me. It isn't that I've forgotten about my quest to get a life, it's that I've been a bit stuck on the problem of trying to define exactly what that is. I'm working on a post, but to be honest, I'm struggling with how to quantify "getting a life." I need to be able to define it so I'll know if it happens, right? Meanwhile, I've come up against something else lately and I feel compelled to post.
I was recently engaged in a conversation about the idea of disappearing, of packing up and moving, of picking up and starting over. Although everyone agreed that even in a new zip code you are still you and any problems or baggage you may have will be there to, I can't help being oddly drawn to the idea of running. And it isn't as much running from (my job, my life--or lack thereof), but a desire to run to. It has occurred to me several times recently that I would be really happy working in a winery tasting room. I know this is a very low wage job. I know that it would mean not being able to pay my student loans and living in the tiniest of apartments. Realistically, I know I would be broker than broke and that's never been something I could be okay with. On the other hand, to spend my work life doing something I'm really passionate about? It seems like heaven. I know this isn't realistic. I know I don't have the guts to do something this drastic, and yet...I can't quite get it out of my head. Is working a job I loathe, that is killing me day by day so I can afford to pay my student loans and take a vacation once a year worth it? Could I be happy being broke, but spending my days doing something I love? I have always argued that money really can buy happiness because it allows us to buy, not objects, but experiences. Now I'm wondering if sacrificing money and security for something you truly love can bring happiness as well. Given that I'm not happy with the way things are going for me, what do I really have to lose if I decide to cut and run? Stability. Security. But maybe my fear of losing my security is keeping me from doing things that would give me true joy. I don't have the answers, but I would love to hear what other people think. Would you sacrifice security for a shot at happiness?



Kate, Dating in LA said...

Well, my answer is yes--otherwise I would not have quit a job that had real income and Christmas bonuses. There is a reality to be addressed, but taking a risk could bring you much greater rewards all the way around.

Dee Murray said...

Man...I think about running away every day. But I am scared too. I don't want this to be it. But I am sacrificing my 40's for MAYBE my 60's? What happens if I don't make it that far? My mom didn't. She hated every moment of her work day and as she was on the cusp of living the life she wanted, she died. That bites. I know that happiness can be bought - but I know that peace of mind is free. And all I want is to lay my head down at night & sleep blissfully. Not wake up at 3:00 in the morning unable to go back to sleep because my life sucks so badly.